at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
