Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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