You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
