i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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