Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize