so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Randomize
