The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
