You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
