MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
sarcasm needs its own font
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Randomize
