We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
