I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize