I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
