am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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