Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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