Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
