oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Found the puke drawer
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize