I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
