stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
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