Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Randomize
