I just saw a hot homeless man
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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