I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Randomize
