You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
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