I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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