Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
