I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
