I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
