You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
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