I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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