wanna go halves on a baby?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
