I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
