She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
