I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
