My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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