if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
are you so shy because you have an std?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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