Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
