is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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