i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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