Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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