Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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