So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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