How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
