How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize