I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
