but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
