Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Randomize
