I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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