the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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