I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
