remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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