I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
