I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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