I think scott just propositioned me for sex
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
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