omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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