Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
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