I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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