the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
