I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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