i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
