OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
