Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
