I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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