so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
