plz talk dirty to me
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
