bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Randomize
