ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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